The America that Never Was: An Alternate History of the United States of America

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

Great as alway update. When you become Governor General of Oklahoma, I sugesst to make this an compulsory lecture for all student

Poor green mountains boy

[Mechaman]

February 28th, 1786: The Congress of Rhode Island begins drafting the Rhode Island Constitution. The Constitution is similar to the United States Constitution except the Rhode Island legislature is including a built in “Bill of Rights” into the Constitution, something that has still evaded the US Constitution this long.

March 4th, 1786: The Treaty of Hopewell is signed between the United States of America and the Cherokee Nation. The Treaty would establish the boundaries of white settlements to avoid unnecessary conflict with Native Americans. This treaty would give way to the Cherokee phrase Talking Leaves because when the treaties no longer suited the Americans, they would blow away like talking leaves. Overall, relations between Native Americans and White settlers would improve (as opposed to OTL, ITTL white man is too busy killing himself to care about Native Americans).

March 8th, 1786: Elizabeth Pinckney gives birth to a baby girl, Elizabeth Motte Pinckney. This is the Pinckney's fourth child, third daughter. The baby looks to be very healthy, and juding by the family history the doctor estimates to see all four of the Pinckneys' children to live to see adulthood.

March 11th, 1786: Thomas Chittenden approaches the General Assembly of Vermont:

“My fellow men of Vermont,
As you may have known by now my boy Martin has come back to us after many months of us thinking he were dead. However, with his return back I got some very dreadful news: the Royal Government of Canada does not recognize our right to exist!
Therefore after much thought, I have come to the conclusion that the only way we can save both our land and the lives our young men from the ravages of war is to ratify the United States Constitution and become a United State.”
From the assembly: “This is blasphemous! You would sell away our national birthright! How dare you!”
Chittenden:  “Gentlemen, I understand your concern but let me assure you that you will retain all of the same civil liberties as you would have now, maybe even a few more. The United States is a very liberal nation with many individual freedoms for its populace. It is much preferable than sitting here waiting for the Loyalists to come in and destroy our sovereignty.”
From the assembly: “So what better way than to sell our sovereignty to the United States!”
Chittenden: “ So you would rather die a foolish death against a way more powerful opponent than seek allegiance with an ally that promises more than what you got now? This is not easy for me brothers! We Green Mountain Men of Vermont are not gods, but mere mortal men who want to live under an institution of peace and freedom! Is that too much to ask? Is that too much to ask?! ”
Over the next month, debate would flare back and forth over the issue.


President of the Republic of Vermont, Thomas Chittenden, would push forth the issue of statehood the General Assembly of Vermont.

March 14th, 1786: The Treaty of Hopewell is signed between the United States and the Choctaw Nation. The terms of the Treaty were the following:

1. Indians to restore prisoners (who are U.S. citizens or their allies), slaves, and property, and vice versa.
2. Choctaws acknowledge protection provided by the United States.
3. Open Borders between American and Indians
4. Indian owners of land have the sole authority to decide whether citizens of the United States may or may not settle on their lands and also have the right to delegate penalties for such violations.
5. Indians to deliver criminals who commit robbery, murder, or capitol crime, and vice versa.
6. Citizens of United States committing crimes against Indians to be punished, and vice versa.
7. Retaliation restrained.
8. United States to regulate trade.
9. Special provision for trade.
10. Choctaws to give notice of designs against United States by tribes or any person, and vice versa.
11. Peace and friendship perpetual.
This treaty and others like it, woudl lessen the hostility between the United States and the Native American population.

March 22nd, 1786: The Treaty of Hopewell is signed between the United States of America adn the Chickasaw Nation. With the Treaty signed with all three Native American nations, the US had made peace with the native population, for now.

March 28th, 1786: The Necklace Affair trial reaches a fever pitch in public opinion in France. Each day Queen Marie Antoinette becomes more and more of a liability to even her own husband as now rumors are coming out that she had relations with American ambassador Thomas Jefferson (who many historians said "had moral failings for a man of his stature"), who King Louis despises.


French Queen Marie Antoinette, subject of the Necklace Affair in France.

March 31st, 1786: The French press interviews Thomas Jefferson. In this interview Jefferson had this to say about the French Monarchy:

"They are the scum of the earth. So-called "Royal blood" that survives by taxing the common man into starvation just to build a few more palaces. Louis is a pathetic excuse of a man or power with a huge incompetence issue, Marie Antoinette a harlot for the high society. I wouldn't desecrate myself by engaging in relations with that filth."

Jefferson's comments about the Royal Couple of France shocks the press, but at the same time added much more fuel to the fire of the anti-royal movement in France.


Thomas Jefferson, after his infamous comments to the French press, would become very much hated by the French elite to the point that King Louis XVI would demand the United States remove him from his post as Ambassador to France "lest I send the executioner after him instead".

April 1, 1786: King Louis XVI hears about Jefferson's ugly words and drafts a message to the United States Embassy in Paris:

"To the United States Embassy,
While I do value the friendship of the United States of America to my nation, I have nothing but contempt for that immoral libertine Thomas Jefferson. If I so much as hear or see Jefferson a month from now, so help me god I will send him to the executioner and feed his head to the dogs, even if you it were to cost us our alliance with America. Send this disgusting pig dog back to your homeland now. I would suggest putting him in the pig pen where he belongs too.

Yours truly,
King Louis XVI of France

The US Embassy would inform Jefferson of this turn of events in a few days.


King Louis XVI of France, who utterly despised Thomas Jefferson.

[Mechaman]

Wow. I was on the writing fringe today. Right now it looks like I might be able to get at least a whole presidency done in a month's time! This is better than when I first began where it was a month per year!

I've got to thank the existance of American government for that (this is the only time you'll ever hear me say I like government)!

[Mechaman]

Well I think I'll drop the list of presidents at the beginning. This timeline is going to be different than my original intentions.

[Mechaman]

Sorry for the break in updates. Life has caught up with me. So far I'm expecting time to speed up in this timeline (unless I want to take 5-6 years to do it, lol).

April 2, 1786: An envoy from the American Embassy in Paris arrives at Jefferson’s place in Normandy and informs him of King Louis XVI’s letter and tells Jefferson he is to leave by the next week. Jefferson, invites the man to drink and writes a letter addressed to King Louis XVI:

Dear Almighty Fraud,
Your time of corruption will soon come to an end. My only regret in leaving this post is not having the opportunity to see your people take your head off via the guillotine blade.
See you in hell,
Thomas Jefferson

After writing the letter, he sits down with the envoy and starts chugging rum.

During his short and eventful tenure as Ambassador to France Thomas Jefferson crafted the Jefferson Treaty that would establish a long lasting economic relationship between the US and France. He also would set in place the seeds of rebellion in the French common class for years to come.

April 4th, 1786: Thomas Jefferson and his family arrive at the Normandy Docks to head back to America after a short yet very eventful tenure as the first American Ambassadors to France. There would be a joyous celebration at King Louis' house, since he has managed to get rid of the big American pest known as Thomas Jefferson, without bloodshed, before he became too big of a nuisance to the crown of France. Time, however, would prove to be a cruel enemy to King Louis XVI........

April 9th, 1786: The Vermont General Assembly rejects what many legislators called the "Sell Out Plan", or the ratification of the United States Constitution. Thomas Chittenden would remark "so this is how it ends, the Green Mountain Boys of Vermont, refusing the promise of freedom just to answer the call of death by pride." However not all hope was lost, as John Hancock would send forth a courier to Montpelier with a very interesting proposition.

On a cold dark Island in the North Atlantic
He had seen much better days, days of sunshine, days of warmth, but yet he pressed on. He had gathered what remained of the rum from the sunken ship. His time would soon come......

April 25th, 1786: The French pirate ship Lesborades catches sight of an enormous bonfire on the coast of a mysterious island in the North Atlantic. They notice a man frantically waving his hands in the air. They go over to investigate. They send a small team over to investigate. The team leader, a young Corsican by the name of Napoleone di Buonaparte (ITTL Napoleon rebelled against his Corsican upbringing, running away from the Ecole Militaire for the promises of adventure from the pirate captain of the Lesborades. He was chosen because the captain had found him to have "the greatest mind for the seas of any man, and he is only of the age of 14).

Napoleon: Good day sir.
Mysterious Gentleman: Good day boy.
Napoleon: May I ask why you are on this island?
Mysterious Gentleman: Look around, does it look like I came here for the great scenery?
Napoleon: So you crashed here? Do you know we happen to be pirates?
Mysterious Gentleman: Yes, but if my brother-inlaw isn't bothered at all to ride with them on his trips to France with his wife and daughter, I don't see a reason to fear you. After all, aren't you too young and a bit too well mannered to be a pirate?
Napoleon: It comes from upbringing sir. I am the son of the distinguished gentleman representative of the Island of Corsica Carlo Buonaparte. I am so sorry, I forgot to introduce myself! Good sir, my name is Napoleone di Buonaparte, the navigator of this fine ship you see before you.
Mysterious Gentleman: You may call me Alexander Washington.

And just like that, Alexander had begun life all over again.

And on that note, I end this update.

[Mechaman]

April 29th, 1786: An American courier arrives at the Vermont General Assembly with a letter from President John Hancock to be given to President Thomas Chittenden. The contents of this letter would change the geopolitics of North America from that time on.

May 3rd, 1786: After months of drafting, the Rhode Island Constitution is finally finished and ratified by the delegates of the Rhode Island General Assembly. Included in the Constitution is the Rhode Island Bill of Rights, 12 Amendments added onto the Constitution as a safeguard for individual rights:

1. Unrestricted Freedom of Speech, Religion, Petitions of Grievance and Press. The State shall naught recognize (endorse) or reject (ban) any establishment of Religion.
2. The Right for the Citizenry to own and maintain arms in a manner that doesn’t threaten General Liberty.
3. The State shall have no authority to quarter armed servants in any persons home during the duration of peacetime unless consent has been given by said persons. Likewise in wartime this right shall be retained unless the condition of the populace warrants martial law.
4. “Martial Law” can only be passed with a 4/5ths majority of the General Assembly’s support.
5. No citizen’s property may be searched or seized and neither shall the citizen be liable for arrest unless a warrant of “probable cause” is produced by the officer in question.
6. No citizen shall face trial for a major crime until indictment by a grand jury determines such a trial is necessary and due process of law shall be enforced before any measure of punishment is ascribed to the defendant. Likewise, the accused must not be compelled to testify against himself, unless such testimony is determined to be genuine. Permitting extenuating circumstances, no defendant can be put on trial more than once for an identical crime (“double jeopardy).
7. The State shall have no authority to seize the private property of any citizen unless a)said citizen has violated the Laws of Nature (ie murder, buggery, and in some cases theft) and has no heir to their property, or b)said citizen has given consent to the State, in return for compensation (whether monetary or otherwise), to take property in question for the development of the General Welfare.
8. In order to guarantee a speedy public trial for crimes against the Nature of Man (criminal offenses), the accused has the right to trial by a jury of his peers, the right to legal counsel, and the right to require witnesses to attend trial and testify in the presence of the accused. Until the accused has full knowledge of the charges brought against him, he shall not stand trial.
9. In the case of problems of the Civil Nature (civil cases), the accused, as it is also written in the 8th Amendment, shall have the right to trial by a jury of his peers.
10. No excessive bail or fine shall be levied on the accused. Also, no punishment should be cruel or unusual in scope.
11. The individual rights mentioned here in the Bill of Rights, or in the rest of the Rhode Island Constitution, are not meant to be comprehensive and any rights not specifically mentioned are retained by the people.
12. The powers not listed in this document are reserved to the people of Rhode Island.
The Rhode Island Bill of Rights was the first of its kind in the New World and would be influential in the shaping of Constitutions in the New World. The Rhode Island Constitution would be quite liberal compared to the US Constitution (at the time).

May 5th, 1786: Thomas Chittenden appears before the Vermont General Assembly and reads aloud a letter he received from US President John Hancock:

"Dear proud sons of Vermont,
While we are sad at your news to refuse the fullest of liberal rights guaranteed by ratification of our Constitution, we feel that it is still our duty, as your neighbor in this Brave New World, to extend an offer of alliance with the Green Mountain Boys of Vermont. We shall not enforce any of our laws on you within your own territory, in exchange that you abide by the same conditions. We offer you a very liberal trade policy, our goods to you at a fraction of the cost we sell to other foreign powers. We also offer you our Pledge of Defensive Allegiance, in the case of outside invasion or fraud or armies shall come to your aid. I give you my word as a man of honor and principle, that we shall not defame any of the conditions I have brought forth in this Offer of Allegiance.

Yours Truly,

President John Hancock of the United States

Voting on the Offer of Allegiance would commence in the next five days.

May 8th, 1786: Thomas Pinckney goes on a trip (with his wife Elizabeth) to the construction site of Columbia, which upon completion will be the new capital of South Carolina. In his leave he transfers authority of governance to Lieutenant Governor William Moultrie. As South Carolina's first couple, Thomas and Elizabeth are known for making visits to cities, towns, and villages around the state to visit with the locals and get an idea of what needs to be accomplished to make South Carolina a better place. Right before leaving Thomas Pinckney started drafting a suggestion to be delivered to the delegates of the South Carolina State Legislature having to do with "Slave Rights".


Portrait of William Moultrie, who served as Lieutenant Governor under Thomas Pinckney. He was known as an effective worker with the South Carolina State Senate and for being a very capable stand-in for Pinckney whenever Pinckney was absent from the governorship (ie visits to parts of the state, a few illnesses, nothing serious).

May 11th, 1786: Thomas and Elizabeth Pinckney arrive at the construction site of Columbia, South Carolina. To their surprise, a city square was already fully constructed and a few merchant shops and a blacksmith. From the look of it there were a few structures of residence built (which were used to house the workers and their families, paid for by a tax on alcohol and tobacco passed by the South Carolina State Legislature), but mostly the city square consisted of buildings of commerce and governance. The State Capitol had just start being constructed and most of the estimators at the site said it will take 5-8 years to complete construction of the Classical styled State Capitol. As per Governor Pinckney's decree (and also approved by the State Legislature), slaves who worked on the construction of Columbia would be given adequate housing, food, and water. South Carolina US Senator Ralph Izard would call Thomas Pinckney "the most liberal Federalist I've ever met, who drifts more towards the tenets of Liberals than even alot of Rationales do. The only reason why he doesn't register as such is to carry on the family tradition."

May 12th, 1786: The General Assembly of Vermont ratifies the Offer of Allegiance, officially recognizing a full alliance with the United States of America. Thus they have kept their national identity, without sacrificing their future.

May 15th, 1786: After a stay at the Columbia construction site, Thomas and Elizabeth Pinckney head back towards Charleston. On their way back, the Pinckneys would often find random citizens riding off to their side escorting them from town to town. The decision by the Pinckneys to go unguarded in the countryside to visit the towns and villages of South Carolina had met much criticism from the establishment, in fears that marauders would kill them in the same savage way that those Vermont men were murdered up north. That is until someone brings up Thomas Pinckney's war record, how in the Battle of Camden he saved a Continental Squad from certain death by jumping into the fray of British troops and managed to take 20 of them with his sword, turning the battle around and saving his commander the dishonor of surrender (that was before he almost got blown to pieces by cannon shrapnel, as Alexander Hamilton called him "the luckiest bastard to ever grace a battlefield"). However, his bravery, courage, and all around combat skills would be soon far surpassed by mere kids.......

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

I love immoral libertine Tom Jefferson. Louis is a pussy

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

When an update arrive?

[Mechaman]

When an update arrive?

Probably by tonight. This week is going to be a busy week (packing for college), but next week after I move into my apartment (at college) I have a full week off before school starts and I probably will get this timeline up to the Presidential Election of 1789 by next Friday. It takes me around 2 hours to make update, since I don't go to church on Sundays that means I'll probably be able to get 3 or 4 done if I'm really diligent about it. Next week is when I should start making serious progress on this TL. During school I would say expect an update once or twice a week, I kind of want to have a life next year and study.

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

Damn, I forgot that people here actually have lives

[Mechaman]

May 18th, 1786,
A Conversation

Alexander Washington: So tell me why a young man of your upbringing is associating with these men.
Napoleone du Bonaparte: Well, I am the son of a well established Corsica nobleman you see. My father had written out my fate before I even had a chance to be a voice for my own future. Since the young age of three I had been pushed into institutions of high learning to better develop the skills I would need to become a future statesman. Well I don't like the idea of being a statesman, I much prefer the adventures of the seas. I had always been fascinated by the idea of traveling the seas, being a navigator. I am not a man born to rule, I am a man born to navigate the seas.
Washington: Your captain speaks very highly of your navigating skills. He says that you could pilot your way through the eye of the most intense of tropical storms. I'm curious, how did you become so good at navigating a ship like this?
Napoleone: When I was younger, I snuck out of my family's estate at night and I would use this makeshift boat I had constructed and would paddle and I would find my way through the night to distant shores. Eventually I became used to the night, darkness ceased to exist to impair my eyes. Eventually, not even the strongest gusts of the most severe of storms could disturb my navigation.
Washington: What a sad meaningless life. You could have it all, you could have had the best education wealth and prestige can afford and you throw it all away.....for the seas?
Napoleone: Yes.
Washington: Do you have any idea how much you will be missing out on running around with pirates instead of statesmen?
Napoleone: Not really, it doesn't really bother me. Politics always seemed to be a dreadful hobby.

May 21st, 1786: After many months of trial, the Necklace Affair has finally ended. Queen Marie Antoinette of France is ruled “not guilty” to the charges of conspiracy to commit fraud (equivalent to white collar crime today). However, her image wouldn’t leave the courtroom unscathed, as rumors that she was sexually promiscuous did not die away, especially the rumor that she was involved in an affair with Thomas Jefferson (who despite his disdain for King Louis was friendly with Marie Antoinette until recent months during the Necklace Affair), despite Jefferson virulently denying it. Marie Antoinette, now three months pregnant with child, got more depressed as more and more rumors began circulating about her. She would end up writing a letter………


French Queen Marie Antoinette with her children. After the conclusion of the Necklace Affair she would enter a state of depression over rumors that she was sexually promiscuous. Whether or not she was truly innocent is a subject debated by many historians.

May 27th, 1786: South Carolina Representative Charles C. Pinckney proposes the American Merchant Protection Act, which would allow the US navy to hold any pirate ship that is found in American waters. The purpose of the bill was to combat the recent rise in piracy along the Atlantic coast. As Pinckney would say of the Act before Congress:

” Piracy is an intolerable evil to bear in this world, those who entertain in such activities deserve harsh punishment reserved for the worst of thieves. We have had enough of laying over for these pieces of filth to pillage our coastal villages, disrupt our trade, and hold our families hostages. We need to show these immoral pillage obsessed libertines that we will not bow down any longer to their demands, in fact we need to do better than that: we need to bring this War on Piracy to them. To not pass this reformation would be to shut down the heroic deeds of men like my baby brother (Thomas Pinckney), that we are indeed no different from the cowardly tyrants from which this nation rebelled. A truly free and just society is a protected one.”

This speech would make the then little known South Carolina Representative the unofficial leader of the Federalist movement. He would be called “Sir Federalist” by both opponents and friends. With his motivation and charisma (comparable to that of his brother Thomas who many called “the greatest speaker of his time”) he would help usher in the coming of the Federalist dominance. Both he and Alexander Washington would be considered the “Fathers of the Federalist Era”.


US Representative Charles C. Pinckney (F) of South Carolina would propose the American Merchant Protection Act to combat the rise in piracy along the Atlantic Coast.

May 29th, 1786: The US House of Representatives passes the American Merchant Protection Act with three-fifths majority. It passed with unanimous votes from the Federalist and Rational camps, while gaining quite a few votes from Liberal representatives from mainly the coastal areas, and shockingly Speaker of the House James Madison. Madison would later explain his support for the bill:
”This act will merely give the US navy the authority to capture pirate vessels. I think most people can tell the difference between a pirate vessel and a normal merchant ship.”
The Radicals would oppose the act unanimously, claiming to give the Navy power to seize any ship “with a black flag” would lead to a slippery slope where the government might gain the power to arrest aliens of countries the US is in conflict with. The Liberals who voted “nay” didn’t really have the same reasoning as the Radicals, but rather argued that the clause making Caribbean Rum, and goods commonly found on pirate ships, “illegal commodities” was excessive. The Federalist bloc would counter that the illegalization of Caribbean Rum is necessary since it is a valuable economic resource often sold by pirate ships to saloons to “fuel their war against decent civilization”. At the time the act got passed, the rest of Congress was laughing at the Radicals for such an absurd notion.

June 1st, 1786: The US Senate passes the American Merchant Protection Act 15-9. The Liberal contingent unanimously voted against the act, quite different from the House Liberals who were divided over the issue. Historians would call this one of the rare occurences when the Senate was more partisan over an issue than the House. The Liberal's main motivation to oppose the Act was that there were quite a few pirate crews who not only avoided hostilities towards American merchants, but traded with them quite often. They also opposed the banning of Caribbean Rum, since it was great economic stimulant for tavern owners at the time.

June 4th, 1786: Congress decides on an official recess period: September 1st-October 15th. During the amount of time Congress will adjourn unless in the case of emergency situations in which they will be called for immediately. This recess period was decided on to allow congressmen ample time to return to their home constituencies to get their affairs into order (and in election years have enough time to hire a campaign staff) before re-adjourning. Congress would also have the week of Christmas off to spend with family (who usually lived with them in Philadelphia).

June 14th, 1786: The Lesborades enters Manhattan Harbor before two US Navy ships pull alongside it. The captain of the US Excalibur signals for the Lesborades to stop to be boarded. As the troops climb aboard all they find that is incriminating of piracy is a bottom deck full of cases of Caribbean Rum. Since Caribbean Rum is illegal in the United States, every person aboard the Lesborades is put under arrest and all of their illegal goods were to be confiscated by the US Government. Alexander Washington would protest his arrest, claiming he was really Alexander Hamilton which would draw laughter among the American boarding crew. The captain of the US Excalibur would comment: "If that man is Alexander Hamilton, I'm Attila the Hun. Everybody knows Alexander Hamilton has been dead for months."

[Mechaman]

When an update arrive?

Probably by tonight. This week is going to be a busy week (packing for college), but next week after I move into my apartment (at college) I have a full week off before school starts and I probably will get this timeline up to the Presidential Election of 1789 by next Friday. It takes me around 2 hours to make update, since I don't go to church on Sundays that means I'll probably be able to get 3 or 4 done if I'm really diligent about it. Next week is when I should start making serious progress on this TL. During school I would say expect an update once or twice a week, I kind of want to have a life next year and study.

Disregard that, I have writer's block on top of having a life. I will try damn hard to at least get in 4 updates this week. I hope I can somehow get this timeline to the election of 1789 by next Wednesday. If only I could just say "screw this" and speed it up, I'm just too friggin detailed on TLs!

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

Wow. Looks like Hamilton is going to meet a very unpleasant fate, esspecially since Mechman never liked him

[Mechaman]

Wow. Looks like Hamilton is going to meet a very unpleasant fate, esspecially since Mechman never liked him

That's Alexander Washington to you!
Although I don't like him, I'm keeping him around for a while. Alexander Hamilton Washington will be useful for quite awhile.

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

That's Alexander Washington to you!

Damn name-changer and impositor

[Mechaman]

Update!
Beware, this one is loaded with drama at the end.

June 14th, 1786; 5:43 PM: It happened so quick and fast, nobody could've possibly planned for this. Bryan Johnson couldn't believe it had happened like this. Out of all the training he had gone through to be in the Elite US Naval Guard, he couldn't stop what happened next:

Alexander Washington: I can't believe that I, Alexander Hamilton, after having lived on a damn cold island for nearly a year and coming back on a ship full of awful smelling French pirates with a cargo hold full of Caribbean Rum, present company excluded, am now being taken against my will by the same government I swore to serve!
Napoleone Du Bonaparte: Not for long monsieur, sooner than you know it we shall be drinking our hearts content of Caribbean Rum....on the shores of Rhode Island where men are truly free to have this glorious Rum! Down with you American pseudo freedom loving bastards! I want real freedom damn it!
Bryan Johnson: Watch your tongue you immoral libertine pirate boy! You are lucky we don't have the authority to take you fellows straight to the gallows for this sort of evil behavior.
Napoleone: And you are lucky I am unarmed, too bad you were not smart enough to BOUND ME IN CHAINS WHEN YOU HAD THE CHANCE!!! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Napoleone axe handles Officer Bryan Johnson in the crotch, steals his sword and musket pistol, and grabs Alexander Washington and puts the muzzle of the pistol to Washington's head.

Napoleone: Do not move! Or I blow Alexander Hamilton's head clean off!
Johnson: You really are buying this bull aren't you?
Napoleone: Do you really want to take that chance!? Do you want to be complicit in the death of the great honorable Alexander Hamilton? The love child of George Washington!

Johnson and the other guards let out an audible sigh of shock upon hearing that Alexander Hamilton is really the son of George Washington (it still wasn't common knowledge back then).

Johnson: Outrageous! How dare you speak such blasphemy! I ought to blow both your heads clean off!
Napoleone: Then why don't you spineless waste of a spawn!
Johnson: Why I ought to........
Napoleone: DO IT YOU DAMN AMERICAN COWARD!!!!! I WOULD RATHER BE DEAD THAN BE TAKEN A CAPTIVE TO YOUR PATHETIC EXCUSE OF A FREE SOCIETY THAT PERSECUTES THOSE OF US WHO RESORT TO PIRACY JUST TO GIVE PEOPLE THE GOODS YOU CONSIDER TO BE "EVIL"!!! GOD DAMN YOUR PURITANISM!!! SEE YOU IN HELL!

Johnson puts away his musket rifle.

Johnson: Alright fine. Get out of my sight, the both of you. You are not worthy to be killed by me, you are lower than ants on the social pecking order, all of you! Get out of here and go join your fellow libertines in that pathetic excuse of a country called Rhode Island or the Green Mountain Pansy Boys of Vermont.

Johnson lets the pirates go. He tells the guards to tell anyone who asks what happened to say that the pirates overpowered them and ran into the city to hide.


Napoleone Bonaparte, portrait recovered from the Lesborades from the artist's cabin.


Alexander Washington, at the age of 29.

June 16th, 1786: After two days of running from Manhattan, Napoleone Du Bonaparte and Alexander Washington go their separate ways, Napoleon going in the direction of Rhode Island and Alexander headed back to the Schuyler Estate in Albany, New York. Along the way Alexander would get a horse to speed up his travel.

June 19th, 1786: Alexander Washington arrives at the Schuyler Estate in Albany. One of the house servants, an 18 year old girl named Maria Lewis (ITTL Maria Lewis would be raised in the Schuyler Estate and would never meet James Reynolds, who was killed in the Battle of Camden taking a musketball meant for his Continental Army Captain Thomas Pinckney. Pinckney would call Reynolds "the most selfless and courageous soldier I have had the honor of commanding in the field of battle"), recognises Alexander's figure in the distance.

Maria Lewis: ALEXANDER!!!! MY LORD!
She runs out onto the dusty road outside towards Alexander Washington. He gets off his horse and runs towards her. They meet together 600 feet away from the house in a passionate embrace. Maria starts crying into Alexander's shoulder.
Alexander: Maria, my how I have missed your warmth in the cold Atlantic night.
Maria: Alex, do you know how much sadness has been brought into my life since hearing of your unfortunate demise. My god sir, I am sorry.....I forgot my place.
Alexander: Tis alright my young dove, in fact I would prefer it if you refer to me as "Alex", you are too dear to my heart to have it otherwise. (kisses her head)
Maria: Oh sir......I had no idea you thought of me like that. But you must be tired, not to mention dirty and hungry, how about I prepare you a bath and get Robert to prepare you a hearty meal? Sorry the General (US Senator Philip Schuyler) won't be able to join us. He's in Congress, would you like to be in Congress?
Alexander: Why yes of course, but after I tell you about my incredible journey.

Later in the night, Alexander tells young Maria about how his ship ran into a storm and crashed onto a cold island in the North Atlantic. He anguished as he recalled memories of his wife, being unable to save her as she died from an unknown illness. Maria, who was almost a sister to Elizabeth growing up, cried for hours upon hearing of her death.

Maria: My poor sister Ellie!
Alexander: It's okay my dear, at least she is in a better place.
Maria: Please don't leave me here by myself Alex.
Alexander: Don't worry, I plan on staying around here for awhile.
Maria: No Alex, I mean please don't leave me alone tonight. I am sorry if I step out of bounds here, but I could really use your warmth tonight.
Alexander: I could really use a friend right now too. I shall not leave you alone, besides this is a cold night, we could really use each other's warmth.

Finally after many months, Alexander would once again know the warmth of a woman as he and Maria went upstairs to his quarters.

June 25th,1786: John Hancock is walking around Philadelphia and is shocked to see walking in the distance........Thomas Jefferson?

Hancock: Jefferson, what are you doing here? I thought you were supposed to be in Paris!
Jefferson: The stench of French Royalty sent me back home. The women and wine were really nice though, hehe.
Hancock: Jefferson, do you have any morals at all?
Jefferson: Yes, I haven't murdered my brother in-law yet.
Hancock: No need to, he's already gone sadly.
Jefferson: Alexander....dead?
Hancock: Missing, but he's been gone so long we have assumed the worst.
In a very rare moment Thomas Jefferson sheds a tear over the assumed death of who was once his biggest rival in the Continental Congress, but lately through the bond of family his brother. The sight of Jefferson shedding tears over the demise of Hamilton would speak volumes to President Hancock about how much of a bleedingheart Jefferson really was.

[Mechaman]

Okay screw it.
It looks like I might get two updates in. I just don't have the energy to dedicate to this timeline lately. I've decided to shorten the timeline to end at 1801. Most of the timelines I make from this point forward will branch off from this one though.

[Mechaman]

I've decided to do a unique update this time (mostly due to me being at a crossroads in what comes next and the urge to update)



Andrew Jackson, a short history
On June 28th, 1786 at noon Andrew Jackson had just finished the morning drills for his Rhode Island Infantry unit and was going into the army headquarters for lunch. The day before he had just received his promotion to Major, the youngest person ever to attain that rank in the New World at the age of 19, even younger than the much worshipped late American General George Washington. While many boys his age were out in the fields helping their fathers tend the fields, he was out with raider groups attacking British convoys and claiming their supplies for black market resale. At the age of 11 he had fled from his home in the Waxhaws area, two weeks later he would meet the infamous Blacksfoot James who would recruit him as a scouter to raid British convoys. At the age of 12 he had claimed his first kill: a redcoat who had a pistol raised to the head of a young American mother in front of her children, he felt no remorse or tears for what he had done. Later on he would find other raider groups till eventually he became a raider leader at the age of 16 in the same year that the war that had profitted his profession ended. With the disappearance of the British from Young America, the Raiders of the young country must now find somewhere else to get their fill: the Canadian borderlands. For a year and a half Jackson would lead his group of raiders into the area of Lower Canada and would raid Loyalist settlements to score measures of supplies to barter off in the Americas. One unfortunate time he and his men had run into a team of Vermontans. Usually he would order his men from harming nonBritish, but the pangs of hunger from days of riding without sight of food prompted them to approach the Vermonter camp. Upon sight of the Jackson's raiders the Vermontans started firing their musket pistols in the direction of Jackson's Raiders. In self defense the Jackson and his raiders would end up killing the whole Vermonter team. Feeling like he had committed a crime against nature, Jackson ordered his men to claim the belongings of the dead Vermontans to use for future purposes. A few weeks later after the group had ambushed a Royal Canadian guard unit, Jackson had noticed an odd pamphlet in the handsack of one of the wounded officers. Taking it out he read aloud: "Wanted, the vicious cold blooded raiders who hath slayeth a group of Vermont delegates leaving from Quebec towards Montpelier" before throwing it into the fire where it's remains remain to this day. He had ordered his men to lay low for a while, only raiding to survive in the Canadian countryside.
Then one day while he was up by a stream, he heard gunfire coming from the direction of where his men had encamped. He arrived and found all of his men, dead. It had been a massacre, every single one of his dozen men permeating the ground red with their blood. But what shocked him the most though was the sight of poor James McDowell with his head splitted open and his chest cavity chopped open like an onion, "hatchet job, holy god" Jackson would mutter as he would turn his head up to look for a place to hide just in case the people who had pulled of this ferocious deed came back. By whatever gods are out there, he just couldn't conceive how some harmless merchants and their saintly wives could do something like this to his dozen or so roughmen, they must've had help. They must've been setting this up, to get them back for what they had done in self defense to those Green Mountain Boys. Too bad the world would never believe them; in this world of where the word of a group of raiders is condemned as pure lies the claim of "self defense" would've never stood up in any court, not even in America. He just knew that he was too damned young to die, even if he had achieved this much in his fast youthful existence. He must leave this life behind him now, lest he face the same ugly fate as his men or worse. There were many soldiers and men of fortune who would've been more than happy to dispose of Young Hickory (as his men called him), if he had any hope of living a long life he would have to give up this outlaw business for good.
And that is when he decided to head back to the land he once called home, now called the United States of America. He would find his future among freedmen.
But what he found once he got back wasn't the future he wanted, all around there were talks of the possibility of America being ruled by a monarch, that the liberties that his fellow countrymen had fought for were no longer the heart and soul of the nation. Therefore he would head toward the land of Rhode Island, which had still in it's heart the promises of liberal democracy and the rights only a society of liberty lovers could give. While there he would stay at an inn in Newport owned by a Mrs. Crenshaw off of the gold he and his men had pillaged off of the random convoys throughout Lower Canada while working as a Blacksmith's apprentice. Eventually he would develop a fancy for Mrs. Crenshaw's 14 year old daughter Megan. The two would associate often as Jackson would fill her head full of thoughts of the promises of liberty for all men. Then the Rhode Island Revolution happened.
After the Federalists had thrown the leaders of the Country Party in jail, Jackson had riled up some of his closest friends to protest the actions of the Federalists. Sooner than he expected full on revolution had begun and he was recruited into the Revolutionary Army by his friend Rod Brenner. Throughout the Revolution Jackson would rapidly advance through the ranks due to his fearless and ferocious combat nature. Some estimate that Jackson may have killed as many as 100 Federalist troops per battle (some say he might have killed as many as 600 men, if not more). Jackson himself however claims he probably didn't even kill 200 men and that other estimates are great exaggerations of his fighting prowess. In a period of only a month Jackson went from being a blacksmith's apprentice to a captain in the Rhode Island army and one of the most famous residents of Rhode Island. After the war Jackson decided to stay in the Rhode Island Army as a full time army officer. His superiors had ordered him to take leave for two months to recuperate: "You are still quite young Captain Jackson, you need your rest." Before leaving Jackson would receive a generous commission pay with which he had bought a house in the Newport area near the Inn he had once resided.
While on leave, Jackson's relationship with young Megan Crenshaw would blossom. After she had attended to her chores everyday, she would walk over to his cabin to talk with him about the day. And then one day she came over and found Jackson shirtless rinsing off some dirty clothes. The sight of him made her lust, and she gave into her desires and made sexual advances towards Jackson, who she caught completely off guard. Two hours of hot passion later they expired on his bed, drained of the energy they had expended. At the time she was just another girl to Jackson (he had been with many, he was notorious for bedding with the daughters of Native American chiefs among his men), but to her he was the greatest thing to happen to her. After that event Jackson was offput by Megan avoiding having further sexual relations with him, thinking it had something to do with religion. Later Megan would reveal that she is with his child. This changed Jackson's view of life from being a self serving libertine exraider turned army officer into a loving caring man who would be dedicated to all those around him. Quite simply, once Jackson had created life had he learned to finally love it. Eventually he fell in love with Megan, the first person he had loved since his late mother, who died when he was 13. Before coming back to the service of the Rhode Island Army he would ask her to marry him, she would say yes and the marriage would be in November.
Then came April and it was back to training men for war for Jackson. Under his command would the best soldiers of the Rhode Island Army be trained. He was almost always commended on the excellence of his unit, never criticized once. He always knew he would eventually reach Major, just not this soon in his career. At age 19 not many young men could claim to being Major in the army. This day however, would be an ever so eventful day in the life of Andrew Jackson.

In the distance Jackson spotted a peculiar sight in the distance: a young man maybe two years his junior, in tattered rags headed towards his location. Jackson would approach the young man:

Andrew Jackson: Who are you and what the hell are you doing at this military base?
Napoleone Du Bonaparte: I apologize good sir, my name is Napoleone Du Bonaparte and I have come to the land of Rhode Island to claim myself a citizen of this land!
Jackson: My goodness, a Frenchie! What motivation did you have to come over here?
Bonaparte: It is a very long story Major.......what is your name?
Jackson: Jackson, Major Andrew Jackson. How did you know I was a major?
Bonaparte: Your rank insignia, I have studied some of your American uniform designs.
Jackson: Do you mind if I refer to you as Leo?
Bonaparte: Sure.
Jackson: Alright. You wanna come in for some Caribbean Rum Leo?
Bonaparte: Sure thing Major Jackson.
Jackson: Please, call me Andrew.
The two men go inside Jackson's office and would have a legendary lunch conversation.

[Mechaman]

I shall come up with part two of the Great Conversation between young Major Andrew Jackson and the French Pirate Navigator Napoleon Bonaparte soon.

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

In this TL, people are growing up... quickly

[Mechaman]

In this TL, people are growing up... quickly

Yeah, some of our early figures kind of revert back to the Dark Ages in terms of how fast they grow up. That and the Rhode Island Army is desperate for army officers. I should have part two of the Great Conversation up this afternoon. Can't guarantee more will be up with it, but it'll be pretty interesting.

[Mechaman]

Alright here I go again,

A Conversation
Rhode Island Army Headquarters west of Warwick around noon
Major Andrew "Hickory' Jackson's office

Major Andrew Jackson and the French Pirate Napoleon Bonaparte are having a hearty lunch discussion over some Caribbean Rum.

Jackson: Hahahaha!!! Did you hear the one about the virgin in the Navy Barracks?
Bonaparte: Stop, stop please sir. I've heard enough dirty jokes from you.
Jackson: Alright, let's talk history: What's your story Leo?
Bonaparte: I was born into a life of privilege, the son of a Corsica nobleman yet I gave all that up for a life on the seas as a pirate. That was until a few weeks ago when we arrived in Manhattan Harbor and the overzealous American Navy arrested us for get this: transporting Caribbean Rum! I mean really, who the hell would make Caribbean Rum illegal? Apparently the so-called "freedom loving" Americans! Freedom loving my ass!
Jackson: What the hell indeed. Up here in Rhode Island I get to have as much Caribbean Rum as I like! Pirates like us up here!
Bonaparte: Glad I'm up here now where the blue bloods don't overpopulate.
Jackson: Wow, what a great story. I can relate, minus the life of privilege. I was born among the Waxhaws to a poor widow. She raised me and my two brothers. Then one day, the British took over our home. They quartered in our house, treated my mother like a whore, me and my brothers like rats. They treated all of us Waxhaws like this. Eventually I couldn't take it anymore and ran away to live the life of a raider for 7 years. I was only 12 when I killed my first man, a bastard redcoat who had a gun to the head of a mother, and by god it felt good to watch him go down to the ground the blood flowing from his chest after I shot him dead. Killing redcoats gave me pleasure, god put me on this earth to distribute justice to these bastards, and I had fulfilled his will.
Bonaparte: Killing Redcoats is a just cause. English bastards.
Jackson: Glad you agree.
Anyway I was enjoying killing redcoats until those American bastards ended the war and the British went home. So I did the next best thing, I went north to Canada to start tormenting Loyalist bastards. All went well until one day my team got into a firefight with a group of Vermonters which resulted in their unfortunate deaths. Me and my men had become marked men in Lower Canada. One day we had encamped with these friendly mercenaries and their wives who offered us hospitality. While at the nearby stream I heard the sound of gunfire. I came back to find a massacre, my men lying in pools of their own blood and my friend James McDowell cut up like a turkey. So I gave up my life of mischief and moved down here to Rhode Island to work as an apprentice to a blacksmith. Then the Rhode Island Revolution happened and I became a soldier in the army. In a period of no more than a month I went from being a blacksmith's apprentice to a captain in the Rhode Island Revolutionary Army.
Bonaparte: Wow that is impressive. How did you do that?
Jackson: I have no bloody idea. Anyway they had us take a leave of absence and in that leave of absence I ended up getting a young maiden pregnant, so it looks like I'm gong to be stuck here for awhile.
Bonaparte: How the hell did you manage to do all of that?!
Jackson: No idea mate, but I did it all while on lots of Ale and Rum.
Bonaparte: So would you be able to reasonable conclude, by personal experience, that alcohol fueled soldiers are the best?
Jackson: Yes indeed. Hey Leo, do you have anything planned while here?
Bonaparte: No I believe I do not. Why do you ask good sir?
Jackson: Join my men for training this afternoon, they could use an example of great training out there.
Bonaparte: Why the hell not?
Jackson: That is the spirit!

So Napoleon Bonaparte would join Jackson and his men in training. During training he would pipe up with recommendations about the structure of Jackson's army, making genius suggestions Jackson hadn't thought of before "though there may come a time when you might lose a battle, there should never be a minute to lose sir." By the end of the day Napoleon had proven himself as an avid swordfighter, beating all of Jackson's elite soldiers until eventually Hickory himself challenged Napoleon.

Jackson: Ready Leo?
Bonaparte: Ready.
The two men commence what would be a long drawn out sword fight that lasted well over 20 minutes. Eventually both men would become exhausted trying to find openings from which to attack the other. Eventually Jackson would pipe up:
Jackson: Leo, this fight has gone on long enough, should we call a draw?
Bonaparte: Alright, good game sir.
The two drop swords, shake hands, and Jackson knees Napoleon in the gut to which Napoleon counters with a takedown to the ground and pulls a dagger to Jackson's throat.
Bonaparte: I always have a one up on you sir.
Jackson: Not quite.
Napoleon looks down to see Jackson holding a dagger near Napoleon's ahem.....special parts.
Jackson: Would you rather die a eunuch?
Napoleon: No thanks.
The two men drop weapons and finally shake hands.
Jackson: Never give an inch.
Napoleon: Or your opponent will take a mile.
Jackson: Indeed. Napoleon, how would you feel about being my second in command?
Napoleon: Taken sir. When do I begin?
Jackson: Tomorrow. And don't worry about finding a uniform, we have lax dress codes in the Rhode Island Army.

And so it had begun, the infamous partnership of Andrew Jackson and Napoleon Bonaparte, one of the most powerful military duos in history.

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

Freaking great "dream duo"!

See, I like you TL even if you mad on me for using Comandante CLinton

[Mechaman]

Alright.

Somehow someway I will update this timeline in this coming week. I got a sh*tload of work to do but it's really been on my heart lately to come up with something new on this TL. I'll try my hardest to come up with a doozy on the next few entries and try very damn hard to speed it up just a little bit. After starting my "Rise of the Three Party System" TL I'm suddenly feeling motivated to continue work on this. I won't make any more promises because anyone who has read the many "I promise" statements I have made so far they have pretty much failed (on average). I will try damned hard though to at least make some progress on this one during the week though. I would like to thank all of you for having the patience to put up with this long delay in updating, writer's block has been kicking my ass (as well as school work).

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

UPDATATE THIS OR COLONEL BURR SHALL SHOT YOU!