Is a 60 year old who marries a 30 year old a creep? (user search)
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  Is a 60 year old who marries a 30 year old a creep? (search mode)
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Poll
Question: well? (presume both people involved are equally willing)
#1
Yes
 
#2
No
 
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Total Voters: 69

Author Topic: Is a 60 year old who marries a 30 year old a creep?  (Read 1513 times)
Since I'm the mad scientist proclaimed by myself
omegascarlet
Junior Chimp
*****
Posts: 7,104


« on: May 04, 2024, 02:52:06 PM »

It's not always bad, but its a massive red flag. The maturity gap there is massive. Especially considering that they probably would have known eachother for at least half a decade.

People that say that a person who marries someone half their age is a "creep" are, I think, actually jealous.  Jealousy often disguises itself as morality in personal matters.
Lol. Not surprising that a take this out of touch would come from you.
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Since I'm the mad scientist proclaimed by myself
omegascarlet
Junior Chimp
*****
Posts: 7,104


« Reply #1 on: May 12, 2024, 02:18:27 PM »

To put this in historical perspective, John Tyler was 30 years older than his wife. His first child (from a previous marriage) was older than Tyler's second wife was, and Tyler's youngest child was born when he was seventy, making him 45 years younger than Tyler's oldest child. See how perverted that is?

(As an addendum to the Tyler story, he was born in 1790, and due to how disgustingly old both he and his son were when their children were born, he still has a living grandchild. Bletch.)

Sorry, I don't see how a man fathering a child later in life is either "perverted" or "disgusting."  Many might say: "Good for him!"  I find it pretty awesome that the lives of only three generations of men in the same family could extend over almost the entire history of the U.S. as an independent nation.

There was a man who was a slave, and escaped and fought in the Union army during the Civil War.  He had a son who died in 2015,  during Obama's presidency.  Imagine--the son of a slave living to see the first African American president!  Inspiring beyond measure. 

Somehow, inspiring and perverted aren't mutually exclusive in this case, at least not in my eyes. Doing some quick mental math, it means he was at least 75 when his son was born (assuming the son lived a full century and his father was just 20 at the time of the war). That doesn't feel right at all.


Just because something feels right or wrong doesn't mean it really is.  Slavery felt right to many people at one time, and racial equality "perverse."

Your point is actually a valid one, but still, it feels wrong to me to compare slavery with marrying someone with a 30 year age gap and/or having a child in your seventies.

You seem to be basing everything on feelings here and nothing on logic.  If you're going to criticize other people's behavior as perverse, immoral, etc., you should be able to give at least some sort of logical underpinning for your position. 
There are many logical reasons to question the healthiness of relationships with an age gap as severe as 30 to 60. Massive difference in maturity, a strong power gap born from both the maturity/experience gap and often financial/status gaps, which make many of the foundations of a healthy relationship(eg things in common, an ability to relate to one another, being able to act as equals) much harder to establish.
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Since I'm the mad scientist proclaimed by myself
omegascarlet
Junior Chimp
*****
Posts: 7,104


« Reply #2 on: May 12, 2024, 09:15:52 PM »

To put this in historical perspective, John Tyler was 30 years older than his wife. His first child (from a previous marriage) was older than Tyler's second wife was, and Tyler's youngest child was born when he was seventy, making him 45 years younger than Tyler's oldest child. See how perverted that is?

(As an addendum to the Tyler story, he was born in 1790, and due to how disgustingly old both he and his son were when their children were born, he still has a living grandchild. Bletch.)

Sorry, I don't see how a man fathering a child later in life is either "perverted" or "disgusting."  Many might say: "Good for him!"  I find it pretty awesome that the lives of only three generations of men in the same family could extend over almost the entire history of the U.S. as an independent nation.

There was a man who was a slave, and escaped and fought in the Union army during the Civil War.  He had a son who died in 2015,  during Obama's presidency.  Imagine--the son of a slave living to see the first African American president!  Inspiring beyond measure. 

Somehow, inspiring and perverted aren't mutually exclusive in this case, at least not in my eyes. Doing some quick mental math, it means he was at least 75 when his son was born (assuming the son lived a full century and his father was just 20 at the time of the war). That doesn't feel right at all.


Just because something feels right or wrong doesn't mean it really is.  Slavery felt right to many people at one time, and racial equality "perverse."

Your point is actually a valid one, but still, it feels wrong to me to compare slavery with marrying someone with a 30 year age gap and/or having a child in your seventies.

You seem to be basing everything on feelings here and nothing on logic.  If you're going to criticize other people's behavior as perverse, immoral, etc., you should be able to give at least some sort of logical underpinning for your position. 
There are many logical reasons to question the healthiness of relationships with an age gap as severe as 30 to 60. Massive difference in maturity, a strong power gap born from both the maturity/experience gap and often financial/status gaps, which make many of the foundations of a healthy relationship(eg things in common, an ability to relate to one another, being able to act as equals) much harder to establish.

But that's not the same as saying the older person is a "creep." 
IDK being interested in a relationship with someone who is far less mature than you, is most likely less financially stable than you, has less status and general power than you, cannot stand with you as an equal, and is likely easy for you to control bc of all the gaps is pretty freakin creepy.

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And while others may "question" any relationship all they want in terms of their private opinions, it's not their place to tell other consenting adults what to do. 
Is it okay for one adult to kill, cook, and eat the other if they both consent to it?

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Plenty of marriages and relationships where both partners are roughly the same age turn out poorly.  
They are at least theoretically capable of working out though.
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