Earth, it's almost like some people are too obsessed with outdated class and economic concerns to see how societal structures, linguistic structures, and other cultural constructs are the actual shaping force of the mental prisons you find yourself in regarding gender and other areas of society, per Foucault, Lacan, etc...

(Al kills me in three...two...one...

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Tell me, how exactly do you expect to make any sense of cultural constructs and so on without reference to the
context in which they are formed? I think you are quite right to attack this idea of
monolithic structures (an idea almost as amusingly nineteenth century as Progress with a big 'p'), but unless you accept that there
are structures of some sort, then you can never really study or analyse anything. Ultimately collectives are always made up of individuals, and that is what makes them so interesting. A bit like Lego.
Besides, just because something is 'culturally constructed' does not make it any less 'real' - you could always debate the meaning of reality (obviously), but anything that has a meaningful impact on people's lives has to count as 'real', don't you think?
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I think you are both being highly euro-centric. What relevance would your reasoning have for a poor farmer in China, threatened by the spread of global capitalism?