The Michael A. Naso Institute of Comedy

[Paul Kemp]

Wait, it's a Xerox-run Apple call center?

At least it's not going anywhere as opposed to fly by night operations like Dell.

I will let you in on a little secret.  Jamespol and I have good, hearty laughs when we review the daily update thread.  We talk at least once or twice a week.  Yes, he still reads the forum through this thing called the Guest account and that no one can ban him from.

[Joe Republic]

[True Federalist]

Cop: Sir, step away from the grass.
Westman: I'm not finished!
Cop: What the hell is wrong with you? What did this grass do to you? What if I came to your home and stepped on your grass? People like you disgust me. Now, you'll learn how to respect nature.
Westman: (being handcuffed) FASCISM!

[Paul Kemp]

The thought of a 12-year-old Tweed frankly disturbs me.

But here's the thing: he was 37 at the same time!

[Proud Lieberal from Northeast]

Context:

Yeah, I'd rather hide behind the poll...

[© Tweed the Younger]

Don't know the exact age anymore, but before I started massdebating. Probably 10 or so.

[memphis]

Was probably 6- Helen Foster was the girl's name...she later got into drugs and became involved with SDS

I am jealous of your life.

I'm about 5 years away from having to wear Depends every day...I'll trade with you

[oakvale]

I cannot believe nearly 30% of you have not so much as kissed a girl. I am shocked and appalled at how a significant portion of you have failed something so easily. This is unacceptable. It's time for some tough love. Look at these chumps

Don't know the exact age anymore, but before I started massdebating. Probably 10 or so.

I was already nearly out of college, I was 23 and just a couple months shy of my 24th birthday.  I've only been kissed maybe 3 or 4 times in my entire life.

The first guy lives on the other side of the world and sets his alarm to real early in the morning so he can get up and watch the Republican primaries to see whether Mitt Romney gets 65% or 70% in Oregon. The second guy is 300 pounds and is basically retarded. If they can kiss a girl, why can't some of you?

I'm one of the nevers, but then again, I'm 14...

I don't care if you are 14 months old, that is no excuse.

Never...and I'll be 20 next week.

That's because you're a blue dog. There is a reason why blue dogs are going extinct and it is because they don't reproduce. It's time to decide if you want to be a liberal or conservative. If you choose the liberal path, you can find a loose hippy girl or something at a concert and easily get some action - even if your face looks like meatloaf. Or you can choose to be conservative and get a conservative girl where the sex will be nothing more than missionary through a bedsheet. Either way, it is still a step up from what you have now.

Never. I'm 19 years old.

Go abroad. You have a British accent so you can pull the exotic angle.

Never; I turn 20 this summer.

I told you like a year ago making maps will NOT help you get girls. Did you listen to me? No, no you did not. This is what we're going to do. You are not going to make maps or do anything of the sort for the time being. Instead, you're going to go to a bar, drink some alcohol and mack on the ladies. For the love of God, do NOT talk about how you discovered errors in the local Connecticut dog catcher race. From now on the only "maps" you should be studying is a map of female anatomy.

I'm seventeen and I've never been kissed.  Not ashamed to admit it.

What is wrong with Connecticut? Do they not teach you how to kiss in that state?

Next time I see this poll ran, I want "never" under 10%. When 30% of one of my classes are failing, it drags everyone down and reflects bad on all of us.

 

[Lief]

[State Comptroller Atkins]

He's won the forum. No post can ever top that.

[© Tweed the Younger]

I didn't think it was that super-good

[Ѕenator Αverroës]

I told you like a year ago making maps will NOT help you get girls.

Please, this is nonsense. If making maps doesn't help you get girls you're doing it wrong.

[Bacon King]

I told you like a year ago making maps will NOT help you get girls.

Please, this is nonsense. If making maps doesn't help you get girls you're doing it wrong.

I do hope you're not referring to this creepy iPhone map app that I learned about today:

[Ѕenator Αverroës]

Oh, no, no, no. Homely just needs to find a girl who'll appreciate his cartographic talents. Someone with whom he can pass the evening cuddled up alongside an atlas.

[Joe Republic]

Re: Japanese man cuts off, cooks, and sells his own genitals as meal for ¥100,000

He's Asian, so it obviously wasn't very good value for the money.

[Gustaf]

I told you like a year ago making maps will NOT help you get girls.

Please, this is nonsense. If making maps doesn't help you get girls you're doing it wrong.

The second to last girl I kissed insisted on having a lengthy discussion about the first round results in the French presidential election. I still think maps are to be avoided though.

[Badger]

I didn't think it was that super-good

You are wrong, wrong, wrong.

[For Oklahoma]

I didn't think it was that super-good

You are wrong, wrong, wrong.

^^^

I can't believe I wasn't here for the greatest post of all time.

[homelycooking]

Oh, no, no, no. Homely just needs to find a girl who'll appreciate his cartographic talents. Someone with whom he can pass the evening cuddled up alongside an atlas.

Why the hell is she looking at a topographic map of Cyprus?

[Proud Lieberal from Northeast]

Seriously, Dave should make TheProfessor an admin.

"Post deleted for 10/10 infraction points

Reason: Liking Mitt Romney will not help you get girls"

[Vazdul (Formerly Chairman of the Communist Party of Ontario)]

Oh, no, no, no. Homely just needs to find a girl who'll appreciate his cartographic talents. Someone with whom he can pass the evening cuddled up alongside an atlas.

Why the hell is she looking at a topographic map of Cyprus?

This is exactly the sort of problem that the Professor is trying to fix. Why the hell are you looking at the map instead of the woman?

[Emperor SJoyce]

Oh, no, no, no. Homely just needs to find a girl who'll appreciate his cartographic talents. Someone with whom he can pass the evening cuddled up alongside an atlas.

Why the hell is she looking at a topographic map of Cyprus?

Why the hell does it matter?

[Tender Branson]

Oh, no, no, no. Homely just needs to find a girl who'll appreciate his cartographic talents. Someone with whom he can pass the evening cuddled up alongside an atlas.

Why the hell is she looking at a topographic map of Cyprus?

This is exactly the sort of problem that the Professor is trying to fix. Why the hell are you looking at the map instead of the woman?

[Lief]

This may be the last post of his I have the honor of posting in this thread, if the rumors are true. I hope that one day, when the moderator regime is no more and this forum is free again, you'll be able to return.

A few new ones from this week with friends

Wow.  Where did you find a girl that slim in Ohio?

[Mr. Morden]

This may be the last post of his I have the honor of posting in this thread, if the rumors are true. I hope that one day, when the moderator regime is no more and this forum is free again, you'll be able to return.

opebo isn't banned.  Rather, he's in some sort of mod review purgatory, pending Dave fixing the software, or whatever it is he needs to do break opebo out.