Have you actually read the Bible?

[KEmperor]

One Gospel, the Book of Matthew. A great many of it I didn't understand, so I've put it off.

Although some of the "stories" -- I mean, compact verses that describe one particular instance in Jewish history, not the (incredibly rude) KEmperor/opebo slur -- are interesting unto themselves. E.g. The degenerate and apostatic priest Balaam and his Talking Ass, which was absolutely unlike the Children's Bible version.

Why are you comparing me to opebo?

[Storebought]

One Gospel, the Book of Matthew. A great many of it I didn't understand, so I've put it off.

Although some of the "stories" -- I mean, compact verses that describe one particular instance in Jewish history, not the (incredibly rude) KEmperor/opebo slur -- are interesting unto themselves. E.g. The degenerate and apostatic priest Balaam and his Talking Ass, which was absolutely unlike the Children's Bible version.

Why are you comparing me to opebo?

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[Max Power]

Some, but not much. I don't have the time, really.

[John Dibble]

One Gospel, the Book of Matthew. A great many of it I didn't understand, so I've put it off.

Although some of the "stories" -- I mean, compact verses that describe one particular instance in Jewish history, not the (incredibly rude) KEmperor/opebo slur -- are interesting unto themselves. E.g. The degenerate and apostatic priest Balaam and his Talking Ass, which was absolutely unlike the Children's Bible version.

Why are you comparing me to opebo?

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I've read Genesis, and it IS very fantastical, whether you believe it or not - seems to me KEmperor just can't get himself into books that are too far off from the realism he's used to. And let's be fair here - opebo wouldn't even bother making an attempt to read the Bible.

[Storebought]

One Gospel, the Book of Matthew. A great many of it I didn't understand, so I've put it off.

Although some of the "stories" -- I mean, compact verses that describe one particular instance in Jewish history, not the (incredibly rude) KEmperor/opebo slur -- are interesting unto themselves. E.g. The degenerate and apostatic priest Balaam and his Talking Ass, which was absolutely unlike the Children's Bible version.

Why are you comparing me to opebo?

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I've read Genesis, and it IS very fantastical, whether you believe it or not - seems to me KEmperor just can't get himself into books that are too far off from the realism he's used to. And let's be fair here - opebo wouldn't even bother making an attempt to read the Bible.

The cavalier dismissal of the whole Bible as fiction was what really irritated me.

Fine, you're an atheist. Then simply say, "I tried to read the Bible but I didn't believe it so I stopped". No sense adding your (offensive) value judgement on its worth, too.

To scorn a text that's been the basis of Western civilization, and which even today still animates the decency of so many people, like it's a comic book ... wow, I'm at a loss for words to describe my disgust.

Amazing, since I can't really call myself Christian, either.

[PADem]

I have read some of it, and it does contain some good insights..

However, I think some people take it WAY, WAY too seriously. The Bible can never be proven as fact, and never proven as the word of God either.

[opebo]

Certainly not!  I may have been forced to read some of that propaganda as a child, but can only hope I have forgotten it.  I can remember thinking it was crap then, even at a very young age.

So, Opebo, were you raised as a Christian?

Of course, Alcon.  But only in the most offhand way.  I can never remember a time when I wasn't thinking - 'surely they're joking'.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Option 4. Not much admittedly, but I got the important parts down, and really, John 3:16 pretty much sums the whole book up.

[○∙◄☻¥tπ[╪AV┼cVê└]

I picked by far the most popular option, it seems.

Ditto

[Swing low, sweet chariot. Comin' for to carry me home.]

Sat down one night in Oct 1992 and opened a bible and started reading the New Testament book of Galatians...God opened my eyes within an hour, spoke to me, gave me his Holy Spirit and a new life.  Read the entire bible within the next two weeks.

[KEmperor]

One Gospel, the Book of Matthew. A great many of it I didn't understand, so I've put it off.

Although some of the "stories" -- I mean, compact verses that describe one particular instance in Jewish history, not the (incredibly rude) KEmperor/opebo slur -- are interesting unto themselves. E.g. The degenerate and apostatic priest Balaam and his Talking Ass, which was absolutely unlike the Children's Bible version.

Why are you comparing me to opebo?

You must be logged in to read this quote.

I've read Genesis, and it IS very fantastical, whether you believe it or not - seems to me KEmperor just can't get himself into books that are too far off from the realism he's used to. And let's be fair here - opebo wouldn't even bother making an attempt to read the Bible.

The cavalier dismissal of the whole Bible as fiction was what really irritated me.

Fine, you're an atheist. Then simply say, "I tried to read the Bible but I didn't believe it so I stopped". No sense adding your (offensive) value judgement on its worth, too.

To scorn a text that's been the basis of Western civilization, and which even today still animates the decency of so many people, like it's a comic book ... wow, I'm at a loss for words to describe my disgust.

Amazing, since I can't really call myself Christian, either.

No, it had absolutely nothing to do with whether I believe it to be true or not.  I was criticising it on literary grounds, I found the first chapter too hard to get through and so I stopped.  It's happened before with other books.

And it's not so much realism as the way it was presented.

[Josh/Devilman88]

All of it the KJV

[Sam Spade]

Option 1, though these days I tend to skip most of the Old Testament.

Same here.

[Bugs]

I have read it several times and am in the process of translating my own version.

[PADem]

Sat down one night in Oct 1992 and opened a bible and started reading the New Testament book of Galatians...God opened my eyes within an hour, spoke to me, gave me his Holy Spirit and a new life.  Read the entire bible within the next two weeks.

Are you serious? Or taking the piss?

[Joe Republic]

Sat down one night in Oct 1992 and opened a bible and started reading the New Testament book of Galatians...God opened my eyes within an hour, spoke to me, gave me his Holy Spirit and a new life.  Read the entire bible within the next two weeks.

Are you serious? Or taking the piss?

I expect he's deadly serious.  How else can jamfest put a Bible quote in every other post, that somehow is meant to back up whatever he's talking about?

[CheeseWhiz]

Yep, not in one sitting, of course, but I've read it cover to cover about twice.

#4... boooooriiiiing

I tried reading it cover-to-cover once, and I got stuck in the Bob begat Bob begat Bob begat Bob begat Bob part of Genesis

THAT is the BEST[/u] PART!!!

[Bono]

Sat down one night in Oct 1992 and opened a bible and started reading the New Testament book of Galatians...God opened my eyes within an hour, spoke to me, gave me his Holy Spirit and a new life.  Read the entire bible within the next two weeks.

Nice tosee you believe in irresistible grace.

[MasterJedi]

More than half of it. But it's never been in order and it's all over the whole book.

[Gustaf]

I thought I had read teh bible, but I have later realized it must have been a simplified version. I'm reasonably familiar with much of it, so I voted less than half rather than none.

[Josh/Devilman88]

I have read it several times and am in the process of translating my own version.

That is wrong 100% wrong.. God made the Bible who are you to make a version? No one....

[Emsworth]

I have read it several times and am in the process of translating my own version.

That is wrong 100% wrong.. God made the Bible who are you to make a version? No one....

By that logic, the Bible should never have been translated into English. Do you think that everyone should be forced to read it in ancient languages like Hebrew and Greek?

[Gabu]

I have read it several times and am in the process of translating my own version.

That is wrong 100% wrong.. God made the Bible who are you to make a version? No one....

Can you read both Hebrew and Greek?

If not, then you're reading a translation of at least part of the Bible too, as are likely 99.9999% of Christians.  The Old Testament was originally written in Hebrew and the New Testament was originally written in Greek.

[Speed of Sound]

I am going to start reading the Bible again soon, as I am hitting a stressful time. I will most likely start at the beginning of the New Testament.

[Joe Republic]

I am going to start reading the Bible again soon, as I am hitting a stressful time. I will most likely start at the beginning of the New Testament.

I can think of at least twenty books you'd be better off reading if you want to unwind.